A simple practice for finding your voice without losing yourself — or the other person This blog post is a part of my What to Do When You’re Triggered series. Sign up for future reflections in your inbox and get free access to Beyond Blame — a workshop on transforming conflict into connection. I’ve been thinking about what influences how we choose to communicate in conflict. The moment before I bring words to my experience. Before I attempt to set a boundary, share vulnerably, repair,...

How the spiral builds, and how to notice it earlier This week I want to offer something simple. Not solutions Not more theory. Just a chance to slow down and notice: How does conflict build up in me? Bring to mind one recent conflict, or one that still stays with you. Let it be one specific situation. Then move through these questions slowly, staying with that one moment as best you can. This blog post is a part of my What to Do When You’re Triggered series. Sign up for future reflections in...

How pain stories can muddy our boundaries and make it harder to ask clearly for what we need This blog post is a part of my What to Do When You’re Triggered series. Sign up for future reflections in your inbox and get free access to Beyond Blame — a workshop on transforming conflict into connection. I’ve recently been “joyfully” re-acquainting myself with parts of my internal defence system that can find it easy, when in conflict with someone I love, to build a story about them that starts to...