At the start of this series, I called it What to Do When You’re Triggered. This blog post is a part of my What to Do When You’re Triggered series. Sign up for future reflections in your inbox and get free access to Beyond Blame — a workshop on transforming conflict into connection. Perhaps that title carried a little bit of hope that somewhere along the way there might be a final answer. A way to stop getting triggered. A way to stop arguing. A way to finally become the kind

This blog post is a part of my What to Do When You’re Triggered series. Sign up for future reflections in your inbox and get free access to Beyond Blame — a workshop on transforming conflict into connection. When I am in deep conflict with someone (usually a partner), it can become incredibly difficult to remember the things I love about them, and the human being they are beyond and within this conflict. When I have been hurt, frustrated or disappointed repeatedly, I begin

Sorry can be hard to give because it may feel like admitting we are wrong, bad or entirely to blame. It can be hard to receive when we do not trust what it means or where it comes from. We may find ourselves reassuring the person apologising, or feeling that the word is replacing any real acknowledgement of what happened.

How to pause, check your capacity and find more choice before disconnection takes over This blog post is a part of my What to Do When You’re Triggered series. Sign up for future reflections in your inbox and get free access to Beyond Blame — a workshop on transforming conflict into connection. A simple toolkit to support you before conflict hijacks your ability to choose wisely. One of the simplest tools my partner and I have used in conflict is a traffic-light system. Green

How conflict can open when we stop fighting over the “how” and start listening for what matters. This blog post is a part of my What to Do When You’re Triggered series. Sign up for future reflections in your inbox and get free access to Beyond Blame — a workshop on transforming conflict into connection. Conflict often narrows us. When we are hurt, frustrated, scared, overwhelmed, or longing for something to change, it can start to feel as though there is only one possible wa

How “Let Them. Let Me.” can move you from obsessing over how someone else behaves into the clarity and power of your own choices. This blog post is a part of my What to Do When You’re Triggered series. Sign up for future reflections in your inbox and get free access to Beyond Blame — a workshop on transforming conflict into connection. Although my main practice, and the basis of the work I have done with myself as well as the work I explore with others, is founded in NVC, I

A simple practice for finding your voice without losing yourself — or the other person This blog post is a part of my What to Do When You’re Triggered series. Sign up for future reflections in your inbox and get free access to Beyond Blame — a workshop on transforming conflict into connection. I’ve been thinking about what influences how we choose to communicate in conflict. The moment before I bring words to my experience. Before I attempt to set a boundary, share vulnerab

How the spiral builds, and how to notice it earlier This week I want to offer something simple. Not solutions Not more theory. Just a chance to slow down and notice: How does conflict build up in me? Bring to mind one recent conflict, or one that still stays with you. Let it be one specific situation. Then move through these questions slowly, staying with that one moment as best you can. This blog post is a part of my What to Do When You’re Triggered series. Sign up for futur

How pain stories can muddy our boundaries and make it harder to ask clearly for what we need This blog post is a part of my What to Do When You’re Triggered series. Sign up for future reflections in your inbox and get free access to Beyond Blame — a workshop on transforming conflict into connection. I’ve recently been “joyfully” re-acquainting myself with parts of my internal defence system that can find it easy, when in conflict with someone I love, to build a story about th

How shame, self-image, and deep protection can make some parts of us much harder to recognise This blog post is a part of my What to Do When You’re Triggered series. Sign up for future reflections in your inbox and get free access to Beyond Blame — a workshop on transforming conflict into connection. Last week, I wrote about the protective behaviours we may already know something about through inner work and self-reflection. The ones that reveal themselves because we can feel

How naming the behaviours you already know can lead you toward the ones still hidden This blog post is a part of my What to Do When You’re Triggered series. Sign up for future reflections in your inbox and get free access to Beyond Blame — a workshop on transforming conflict into connection. If you’ve spent time in therapy, coaching, meditation, relational work, or simply years trying to understand yourself, you may already know some of the protective and reactive places you

One of the main questions I hear from clients and people in my workshops is: How do we actually use these communication tools when we’re really triggered or activated? And honestly, I ask myself the same question too. Because for me, that is one of the hardest moments in conflict. Not when I’ve had time to reflect. Not when I’ve calmed down enough to repair. Not when I can suddenly see the bigger picture again. I mean the moment when something has already taken over. The mome

Mediation is often seen as something couples only turn to in deep conflict—on the edge of separation or already past the point of no return. And while it’s absolutely supportive in those moments, I find myself mourning how rarely couples choose mediation before things get that far. Because the truth is, mediation isn’t just for repairing what’s broken. It can be an incredible tool for growth, insight, and real transformation within a relationship. As a mediator, my role is to

Do you ever feel like you and your partner keep having the same fight—over and over again? One moment, you're having a normal conversation. Next, you're both spiralling into frustration and emotional triggers. My partner and I have been navigating this lately, especially during a period of big life changes and extra stress. We’ve found ourselves getting stuck in loops where one of us reacts, the other misinterprets, and we both end up feeling unheard and disconnected. These m

Have you ever noticed how some conversations deepen your connection, while others seem to quickly spiral into tension? The difference often isn’t just in the words we say—it’s in the emotional state we’re speaking from. Just this morning, my partner, currently on a retreat in Portugal, sent me an excited message about his vision for us to move to a community there (in the near future).. His enthusiasm was clear, but before I even typed a single word, my body tensed with fear

Elektra + Antonis: “We’ve grown deeper roots and higher branches in our relationship” If you’ve started the new year wondering how to care for your relationship—or how to deepen communication, trust, and intimacy with your partner—read on. The holiday break offered me much-needed time to reconnect with myself and my offerings, and one thing just kept returning to me: the power of cultivating presence. Both in my own relationship and in the work I do with couples, I’ve seen h

When someone you love (or even someone you don’t) has an opinion that feels threatening or dangerous to your way of being, what do you do? How do you react? These days, with polarisation dominating so many conversations—whether about politics, identity, or the “right way” to think—I’ve been learning just how deeply these dynamics show up in my personal relationships. Over the past six months, my relationship with my partner has been my greatest teacher in navigating these div

Did you know that I took the foundation course in Nonviolent Communication 3 times? In fact I know of a few advanced trainers who sometimes repeat a foundational course every now and again, even after teaching it for 5-10 years. As I consider moving my focus away from teaching the basics of NVC by offering courses that integrate NVC with other practices such as Circling, Mindfulness, Tantra and more, I find myself conversely, returning back the the pure magic of the foundati

Whether it's about how to school your children, navigating political differences, or conflicting views at work or in relationships, holding opposing perspectives can be one of the most challenging aspects of staying connected with those we are close to. It touches on our deepest fears and needs for belonging, unity, and togetherness. When our community connections feel threatened, it can be disheartening and even terrifying. This year, with wars and political upheaval dominat

Lately, I find myself overwhelmed by the sheer horror and complexity of the Israel/Gaza/ Lebanon++ conflict. There is so much pain, history, and trauma on all sides. Conversations about this topic feel heavy, fraught with layers of emotion and fear, and I’ve found myself lost in the middle of it, unsure how to hold all these truths at once. As someone with both a both Jewish and Israeli background, I carry the very real weight of my people's history—our trauma, displacement,